My Dad’s a market trader so I’ve been exposed to markets all my life. I’ve decided to do a bit of a blog about it because I’ve been manning his stall for him recently while he’s been away, so seems apt.
My earliest memory is of ‘helping’ him on his fruit and veg stall, I must have been a tiny little girl as it was a long long time ago. I remember feeling really grown up helping to hammer the fruit boxes to the stall … I was allowed to use the hammer and nails, the actual hammer and nails, I felt like one of the adults. Inevitably one of my memories of this involves me actually managing to hammer my finger/thumb and balling my eyes out. I was young so I can’t imagine I did it with much force, but it definitely hurt. I liked it once the stall was all ready because I got to sit on a banana box with a Macdonalds Happy Meal. Or there was going to a place early in the morning, where I slept all the way in my dad’s massive van, seemed like a weird alternate universe to me because everyone was loud and wide awake, but it was dark and I was tired. But wherever it was we always had the nicest bag of toast (which is why I’ve decided it must have been early morning and not late at night). Since growing up I figured it was probably a place where he got his stock from.
My next memory is of being much older, at a guess 14/15 years old. I worked with my Dad on Gainsborough market … sorry if any of you are from there, but Gainsborough really is a dive, I felt like I was risking life every day just being there ... all the teenage boys had that exaggerated limp and the girls wore scruchies, ew. At this point we were selling household stuff, you know, bleach, shampoo, sponges, toilet rolls … glamorous stuff. I was a moody teenager at this point .. and hated it. My dad used to do the market trader shouty thing to get people to the stall, there was no way I was doing this! ‘HAVE A LOOK ROUND AT A POUND!’ … which use to bug me because there is zero sence in this sentence, it didn't cost £1 to look around, we didn't charge for looking. I got paid £20 for working from 5am til about 6/7pm, and when i decided i wanted company and took my friend Emma to help we got £10 each .... child labour surely!
Anyway, the reason for this blog is that i've been doing my Dads markets while he's been on holiday ... all on my own!! Driving a pretty large van to the markets (when i drive a teeny tiny KA) at 6am in the mornings and unloading, staying until 6pm and loading all the stock back on the van. I'm definately not built for manual labour! I did have a young lad that was supposed to help me load and unload but he was rubbish at the actual turning up stuff. My friend Sarah was a bit of a star and came to help me when she could. I quite enjoyed the actual day part because it's fabulous for people watching, you see alsorts, from chavs causing disruption, to domestics, to just people in 'oh my god what is she wearing' outfits. I also saw a man run off with a womans bag shortly followed by a security guard nonchalantly strolling back with it in hand like some modern day superhero (lol @ modern day superhero sounding like i believe that there were olden day super heroes and that they exist). Undoubtedly the weirdest thing i saw was an old man on a moblity scooter holding his legs up in the air a few inches as if he couldn't put his feet down, then he went into the library and came back out a few minutes later with some library books on the floor of the scooter with his feet resting on them. Ingenius use of library books, although i couldn't help but wonder why he didn't get something more permenant, he's only gonna have to return them in a few months.
Markets are hard work, tiring, but i have found certain aspects enjoyable, it has taught me invaluable life skills, how to handle money, how to do on the spot maths but most importantly how to deal with the general public, it's one thing to serve a customer, another to be able to banter with a complete stranger .. this i believe i'm good at, because of the markets.
Thursday, 14 July 2011
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom
It's Sunday evening, i'm tired, i have Pirates of the Caribbean on in the background, noone is talking to me, i am bored. But as well as being bored i'm feeling lazy. So i thought i'd do a nice simple blog, one that doesn't involve too much thinking or reasoning.
I'm going to do a list of things i like ... oh that sounds rather lame. But anyway, i've tried not to be too obvious with my list .. i mean if i put 'spending time with friends, going on holiday' ... it would give no insight into me, as, unless you are a bit of a weird, reclusive, agrophobic bizarre person, everybody likes being with their friends and having holidays.
Ok i'll stop blathering ... my list:
conversations with weird strangers
the smell of library books
the Nephew's giggle
knowing what people are thinking
unexpected texts from him
saying something purely to get a reaction
making people jump
halloween
that moment just before the cork pops when you can feel the pressure
racing for the good luck grates
kisses you remember
tying ties
ribbons
butterfly kisses
having ice
when he gives me that look
tulips
free stuff
in jokes
hats
when the hair works
visiting a new city
having a long conversation with someone with an accent, then when they are waiting for my response going 'ya what?'
lame jokes
slightly inappropriate laughter that is made worse by the trying to stifle it.
made up words
I'm sure there's many more for the list ... i will probably add to it.
I'm going to do a list of things i like ... oh that sounds rather lame. But anyway, i've tried not to be too obvious with my list .. i mean if i put 'spending time with friends, going on holiday' ... it would give no insight into me, as, unless you are a bit of a weird, reclusive, agrophobic bizarre person, everybody likes being with their friends and having holidays.
Ok i'll stop blathering ... my list:
conversations with weird strangers
the smell of library books
the Nephew's giggle
knowing what people are thinking
unexpected texts from him
saying something purely to get a reaction
making people jump
halloween
that moment just before the cork pops when you can feel the pressure
racing for the good luck grates
kisses you remember
tying ties
ribbons
butterfly kisses
having ice
when he gives me that look
tulips
free stuff
in jokes
hats
when the hair works
visiting a new city
having a long conversation with someone with an accent, then when they are waiting for my response going 'ya what?'
lame jokes
slightly inappropriate laughter that is made worse by the trying to stifle it.
made up words
I'm sure there's many more for the list ... i will probably add to it.
Friday, 22 April 2011
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional
I've always had this slight little fear of aging. Wrinkles i'm scared of, having to wear Tena Ladies i'm scared of, aches and pains i'm scared of, droopiness i'm scared of, illness i'm scared of, seeing the wrinkly bum of an old man i'm scared of (cheers Sex and The City), greying i'm scared of, starting to like lavender i'm scared of, losing family and friends i'm scared of, backache i'm scared of, WIs i'm scared of, liking ornaments i'm scared of, buying Wearthers Originals i'm scared of ... i'm most scared at the being old thing.
Ok .. what am i leading to? ..... yes, i'm still in my 20s .. but 30 i can see in the not so distant future, and today i was shopping. How does this make me feel old? Well .. i was walking towards Next in Meadowhall and i near on bumped into two teenage boys. As this happened one looked up and went 'Wow' ... i quite liked this, because tbf i was feeling a bit rough, i was tired, i'd spent all morning doing Zumba and i was hot. His mate nodded at him, but then his brain kicked in and he went 'bit old though mate' .... what? I'd have slapped them, if i wasn't pretending to have not heard ... and if they didn't look like potential happy slappers, i just tried my hardest to 'look young' as i walked away. How much is botox?
I AM NOT OLD!!!!!!!!!
Ok .. what am i leading to? ..... yes, i'm still in my 20s .. but 30 i can see in the not so distant future, and today i was shopping. How does this make me feel old? Well .. i was walking towards Next in Meadowhall and i near on bumped into two teenage boys. As this happened one looked up and went 'Wow' ... i quite liked this, because tbf i was feeling a bit rough, i was tired, i'd spent all morning doing Zumba and i was hot. His mate nodded at him, but then his brain kicked in and he went 'bit old though mate' .... what? I'd have slapped them, if i wasn't pretending to have not heard ... and if they didn't look like potential happy slappers, i just tried my hardest to 'look young' as i walked away. How much is botox?
I AM NOT OLD!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Knock knock ... Who's there? .... Banana ...
Oh good evening,
Last Sunday i had an impromptu visit to the City Hall in Sheffield to see the genius that is Jimmy Carr. Turns out if you book a couple of days before the event you can get pretty decent seats ... row D in the stalls ... who'd have thought?!
He was pretty brilliant. But me, being the blonde i am, can't remember much of it .. no i wasn't drunk. I just remember it being really funny. He is King at beating down hecklers, even invites them into heckling.
So to recap on this highly informative blog post ... i went to see a comedian ... and he was funny ... oh the insight.
And i'm up at 6am tomorrow to do a car boot :( so if anyone comes across me i shall be highly grumpy.
Last Sunday i had an impromptu visit to the City Hall in Sheffield to see the genius that is Jimmy Carr. Turns out if you book a couple of days before the event you can get pretty decent seats ... row D in the stalls ... who'd have thought?!
He was pretty brilliant. But me, being the blonde i am, can't remember much of it .. no i wasn't drunk. I just remember it being really funny. He is King at beating down hecklers, even invites them into heckling.
So to recap on this highly informative blog post ... i went to see a comedian ... and he was funny ... oh the insight.
And i'm up at 6am tomorrow to do a car boot :( so if anyone comes across me i shall be highly grumpy.
Friday, 11 February 2011
Happy Birthday
Evening all, i've not been blogging much of late .. i've been really busy, ok ok, lazy. So i thought i'd pop by and just do a short blog about what it is that i've been up to.
Firstly 27th of January was the Birthday of my beautiful baby Nephew, Alfie. His first. He's such a sweetheart and considering all his heart problems a little superstar. Still not had to have any operations and they thought he'd need some straight after birth, so i'm completely proud. He had a Mickey Mouse themed birthday party and was spoilt rotten ... i bet it'll seem like no time at all until i'm blogging about his 18th! ... man i'll be old.
I spent last weekend in Newcasle, the first time i had visited the city. It was a lovely city, even if they do all talk funny. I lost count of the amount of times i said 'ya what?' (oh my Derbyshire accent is so beautiful and eloquant). If i'm completely honest i didn't see much of it except for the hotels and pubs, but i had a fabulous time none the less.
During my Saturday night out i did have an altercation with a bouncer. He was a complete and utter idiot (my words on the night were much stronger). I was sat on some steps in front of a fire exit because my feet hurt, and he came up behind me put his hands under my arms and pulled me to my feet. Literally throwing me in the air in the process and hurting all down my sides. Granted i shouldn't have been sat infront of a fire door, but how hard would it have been to gone 'excuse me love, you can't sit there'
Although ... i suppose .. with his accent, i wouldn't have understood him.
He realised he'd hurt me though ... mainly because i was a complete girl and cried .. but he kept out of my way for the rest of the night. Which, even though he was 5 times my size (and i'm anything but small) .. wise. I spent the rest of the night going 'i'm going to write a strongly worded email in the morning.' I didn't ........ effort.
Oh and i was told at the doctors by my nurse this week, that i had lost a stone ... go me :D
Firstly 27th of January was the Birthday of my beautiful baby Nephew, Alfie. His first. He's such a sweetheart and considering all his heart problems a little superstar. Still not had to have any operations and they thought he'd need some straight after birth, so i'm completely proud. He had a Mickey Mouse themed birthday party and was spoilt rotten ... i bet it'll seem like no time at all until i'm blogging about his 18th! ... man i'll be old.
I spent last weekend in Newcasle, the first time i had visited the city. It was a lovely city, even if they do all talk funny. I lost count of the amount of times i said 'ya what?' (oh my Derbyshire accent is so beautiful and eloquant). If i'm completely honest i didn't see much of it except for the hotels and pubs, but i had a fabulous time none the less.
During my Saturday night out i did have an altercation with a bouncer. He was a complete and utter idiot (my words on the night were much stronger). I was sat on some steps in front of a fire exit because my feet hurt, and he came up behind me put his hands under my arms and pulled me to my feet. Literally throwing me in the air in the process and hurting all down my sides. Granted i shouldn't have been sat infront of a fire door, but how hard would it have been to gone 'excuse me love, you can't sit there'
Although ... i suppose .. with his accent, i wouldn't have understood him.
He realised he'd hurt me though ... mainly because i was a complete girl and cried .. but he kept out of my way for the rest of the night. Which, even though he was 5 times my size (and i'm anything but small) .. wise. I spent the rest of the night going 'i'm going to write a strongly worded email in the morning.' I didn't ........ effort.
Oh and i was told at the doctors by my nurse this week, that i had lost a stone ... go me :D
Monday, 24 January 2011
Wolves, Cannibals, Serial Killers and Doggers ...
Okay, so, some time last week i got an email from my friend Helen saying she was coming up my way to do a 6 mile walk around Mansfield with our friends Nikki and Vee and asked me if i wanted to join them. Now, they're doing this to train for a 26 mile walk that they are doing for a Breast Cancer charity. I'm not doing this walk but since i'm trying currently to get fitter i thought 'why not?.'
The last time i did a walk i did an 8 mile walk around Carsington Water and by about mile 5 i was dragging my right leg behind me propping myself up on a big stick ... but i did complete it. The reason for this is i was the type of girl who never wore flat shoes. I wore at least 4 inch heels everyday, so my calves couldn't put up with such a distance in flats. Walking on tip toes helped. But since i've been wearing flats religiously for a good couple of years now i thought i'd be ok.
We set off, the 4 of us along with Nikki's daughter Ferne, friend Maxine and her dog Jaz. We set off that little bit late ... mainly because we are women and things like gossiping, tea and cakes easily distract us. It was gone 3 by the time we set off i think. We were walking through Sherwood Park, which has many different routes through the forest all of varying lengths. We decided on doing the 6 mile one, not too little, not to much. You choose a trail, follow that coloured markers and arrows in sequential number order. At some point someone said the 6 mile route goes up to number 20. We saw 1, 2 ..... 3 ... there was a small diversion but that eventally put us back on track ... we carried on counting. We all seemed to be coping ok ... my legs, on the whole .... worked ... by about 16 i could feel my right leg giving me a bit of jip, but not too much. I soldiered on. All the way round we nattered and had a laugh. We passed 19 ... got that little bit excited when we could see another marker in the distance .. not only because we were nearing the end but because the sun was rapidly setting, and we wanted to get back to Nikki's for food, vodka and games. We got to marker 20, couldn't see the carpark so just followed the direction of the marker ... another one came into sight ... 21 ... then came 22. Ok it must be 30 it goes up to not 20. It was getting dark, i'd developed a bit of a limp, eveyone else was feeling it too but we could cope to 30. But when 29 eventually appeared i was feeling somewhat relieved ..... More so when i could see another marker in the distance ...
12 f*cking 12! ... the marker said 12 .... 1 to 29 to 12! in what warped method of counting does this occur?!!
By this point it was dark, the ground was muddy and uneven and we couldn't see where we were putting our feet. Somone said 'at least it hasn't rained' ... then it rained, But we had no option but to follow the direction of the arrows and pray they didn't count up to infinity. Now anyone that knows me, will tell you i have a pretty overactive imagination. But i felt it was pretty justified given the situation. I realised that this forest, at night, would be the perfect place for a serial killer to hide out, lots of trees and shadows to hide behind ... and wildlife, there had to be tons of wildlife in such a dense area of forestry ... wolves? Don't wolves live in the forest ... one went for Little Red Riding Hood in broad daylight ... we were surely potential wolf food! Luckily i'm not silly enough to worry about them being warewolves ... it wasn't even a full moon! lol.
Seriously i was that little bit scared. I lost count of the amount of times i said 'i've seen horror movies that go like this' Every time i pointed out a particularly dark, scary bit of forest, the next marker arrow would point us in that very direction! There was even a random car aboned in the middle of the forest ... Hells thought there could be people erm .. fornicating in the back, Nikki thought probably doggers ... i reasoned that a serial killer must get into the woods somehow ... funny how different peoples minds work! At about marker 20 (the second time around ... i seriously thought we would just be going in a circle for all of eternity) we could see in the distance a flickering orange light ... could i imagine this to be something sinister? .... Course i could! Cannibals .... Cannibals living in a forest would need a fire to cook their prey surely ... this orange flickering light .. said fire!!
Well, since i'm writing this ... you can presume we got out alive .. either that or i'm still wandering through the forest but weirdly with a laptop and broadband connetion ... surprising what you can find in the forest along with the ghosts and ghouls ... It turns out, this trail goes from 1 to 30 then 12 to 21 ... and the flickering orange light was the light of a security vehicle keeping watch over our cars, which, since the park had closed and it had been dark for hours were the only vehicles left in the car park. I've never been so glad to see a car in my whole life. My right leg had been walking on sheer will for the past 5 miles We deducted we walked approx 9 miles ... my suggestion .... 38 miles ... felt like it.
When we got back we binged on pizza, curly fries and cupcakes ... we'd more than earned it.
............ could only happen to us!
The last time i did a walk i did an 8 mile walk around Carsington Water and by about mile 5 i was dragging my right leg behind me propping myself up on a big stick ... but i did complete it. The reason for this is i was the type of girl who never wore flat shoes. I wore at least 4 inch heels everyday, so my calves couldn't put up with such a distance in flats. Walking on tip toes helped. But since i've been wearing flats religiously for a good couple of years now i thought i'd be ok.
We set off, the 4 of us along with Nikki's daughter Ferne, friend Maxine and her dog Jaz. We set off that little bit late ... mainly because we are women and things like gossiping, tea and cakes easily distract us. It was gone 3 by the time we set off i think. We were walking through Sherwood Park, which has many different routes through the forest all of varying lengths. We decided on doing the 6 mile one, not too little, not to much. You choose a trail, follow that coloured markers and arrows in sequential number order. At some point someone said the 6 mile route goes up to number 20. We saw 1, 2 ..... 3 ... there was a small diversion but that eventally put us back on track ... we carried on counting. We all seemed to be coping ok ... my legs, on the whole .... worked ... by about 16 i could feel my right leg giving me a bit of jip, but not too much. I soldiered on. All the way round we nattered and had a laugh. We passed 19 ... got that little bit excited when we could see another marker in the distance .. not only because we were nearing the end but because the sun was rapidly setting, and we wanted to get back to Nikki's for food, vodka and games. We got to marker 20, couldn't see the carpark so just followed the direction of the marker ... another one came into sight ... 21 ... then came 22. Ok it must be 30 it goes up to not 20. It was getting dark, i'd developed a bit of a limp, eveyone else was feeling it too but we could cope to 30. But when 29 eventually appeared i was feeling somewhat relieved ..... More so when i could see another marker in the distance ...
12 f*cking 12! ... the marker said 12 .... 1 to 29 to 12! in what warped method of counting does this occur?!!
By this point it was dark, the ground was muddy and uneven and we couldn't see where we were putting our feet. Somone said 'at least it hasn't rained' ... then it rained, But we had no option but to follow the direction of the arrows and pray they didn't count up to infinity. Now anyone that knows me, will tell you i have a pretty overactive imagination. But i felt it was pretty justified given the situation. I realised that this forest, at night, would be the perfect place for a serial killer to hide out, lots of trees and shadows to hide behind ... and wildlife, there had to be tons of wildlife in such a dense area of forestry ... wolves? Don't wolves live in the forest ... one went for Little Red Riding Hood in broad daylight ... we were surely potential wolf food! Luckily i'm not silly enough to worry about them being warewolves ... it wasn't even a full moon! lol.
Seriously i was that little bit scared. I lost count of the amount of times i said 'i've seen horror movies that go like this' Every time i pointed out a particularly dark, scary bit of forest, the next marker arrow would point us in that very direction! There was even a random car aboned in the middle of the forest ... Hells thought there could be people erm .. fornicating in the back, Nikki thought probably doggers ... i reasoned that a serial killer must get into the woods somehow ... funny how different peoples minds work! At about marker 20 (the second time around ... i seriously thought we would just be going in a circle for all of eternity) we could see in the distance a flickering orange light ... could i imagine this to be something sinister? .... Course i could! Cannibals .... Cannibals living in a forest would need a fire to cook their prey surely ... this orange flickering light .. said fire!!
Well, since i'm writing this ... you can presume we got out alive .. either that or i'm still wandering through the forest but weirdly with a laptop and broadband connetion ... surprising what you can find in the forest along with the ghosts and ghouls ... It turns out, this trail goes from 1 to 30 then 12 to 21 ... and the flickering orange light was the light of a security vehicle keeping watch over our cars, which, since the park had closed and it had been dark for hours were the only vehicles left in the car park. I've never been so glad to see a car in my whole life. My right leg had been walking on sheer will for the past 5 miles We deducted we walked approx 9 miles ... my suggestion .... 38 miles ... felt like it.
When we got back we binged on pizza, curly fries and cupcakes ... we'd more than earned it.
............ could only happen to us!
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
One Born Every Minute
Monday night i watched 'One Born Every Minute' on channel 4. For those of you that aren't familiar with it it's basically a documentary set on a maternity ward. I love it. It confuses me immensely though. One minute i think 'there's no way on earth i am ever having a baby ... ouch' the next i'm thinking 'awwww i want one!' The pain looks hideously horrendous and i'm the biggest wimp in the world. One thing it has made me realise, when i have children, i want an epidural .... scratch that, 3 epidurals. Or i might attempt to be too posh to push ..
or i might just buy one.
This week it showed two births, one was a woman who screamed the hospital down ... i realise it hurts, but seriously, she was flailing about as if she was drowning, kicking the end of the bed, almost jumping out of it ... dramatic. Even after she'd had an epidural, she was still pretty vocal. I found her irritating, but quite amusing To be fair on her though, she did say before she went into labour that she wasn't good with pain. The second was a woman who ended up having to have an emergency C-Section after being induced .... as if i'm even going to attempt to spell that word. This was pretty similar to my sisters labour. I was there for the majority of it, until she got rushed to theatre for her C-Section ... pretty scary stuff.
Overall, interesting opening episode.
It's on on Monday nights at 9pm ... watch it ... or +1 it ... Glee is on E4.
or i might just buy one.
This week it showed two births, one was a woman who screamed the hospital down ... i realise it hurts, but seriously, she was flailing about as if she was drowning, kicking the end of the bed, almost jumping out of it ... dramatic. Even after she'd had an epidural, she was still pretty vocal. I found her irritating, but quite amusing To be fair on her though, she did say before she went into labour that she wasn't good with pain. The second was a woman who ended up having to have an emergency C-Section after being induced .... as if i'm even going to attempt to spell that word. This was pretty similar to my sisters labour. I was there for the majority of it, until she got rushed to theatre for her C-Section ... pretty scary stuff.
Overall, interesting opening episode.
It's on on Monday nights at 9pm ... watch it ... or +1 it ... Glee is on E4.
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